The idea of talking about sex with your parents is enough to make you cringe...
The idea of talking about sex with your parents is enough to make you cringe with discomfort. Nothing comes even remotely close to being as awkward as having to raise the subject of sex with your mother or father (or both). The fact that you want to discuss sex openly, however, is a good sign of your growing maturity. It can be a turning point in your relationship with your parents and signals to them that you are moving into adulthood.
Most parents dread having to discuss sex with their children as well. You may feel that this is going to be an uncomfortable conversation and you may be having difficulties deciding how and when to raise the subject. Your parents are probably going through the same mental anguish. Parents have an uncanny knack of picking up on signals and if you are wanting to talk about sex, chances are they know it and are trying to find the right time and place as well.
Even though you love both your parents, you may have a connection with either your mother or father that you think it would be easier to talk about sex with. Even this can be a difficult decision to make. In some ways, it maybe be easier to choose the parent that you have a little distance from in conversations as this may help frame the sex conversation so that after it is over, you can resume your normal relationship. Sometimes, with a close parent, the sex conversation can change the dynamics of your relationship and create a little more distance as your parent tries to give you the space you need to grow.
At times it is easier to simply choose the parent of the same gender – your mother if you are a girl, or your father if you are a boy. This allows you to also talk about any biological changes or experiences you are having as well.
Finding out details of sex from friends is the number one source of sex information for young people. The problem with this is that it is easy for misinformation to get shared amongst your social group. Also, not everyone’s sexual experiences are the same and if the information is based on the experiences of one of your friends, this may not be pertinent to you. While there is a freedom in talking about sex with your friends, the information only takes you so far.
Finding the right time to talk about sex with your parents is crucial. Try to make time for a real conversation – where you will not be interrupted too much – and start with more general topics to build a rapport and easy flow to your conversation. This will calm your nerves and make your parent feel at ease as well. Trust your instincts and when there is a bond in your conversation, start to steer the conversation onto sex.
Sex chats with mum and dad are excruciatingly painful at times but are an essential part of growing up. The sex conversation with your parents is a true milestone in your maturity.
Raising a child alone is never easy; you need to balance the time with your child and the time with your work. The question now is how you can become a good parent, and how will you manage to become a father and a mother at the same time.
One of the most important thing is to Establish a good relationship with your child, explain to your child the reason why your raising him/her alone, explain it not in a way that your brainwashing or saying bad things about your child’s other parent. Make sure to maintain your communication with him/her. Assuming that you have a full-time job on weekdays, make sure you spend some quality time with your child on weekends. Bonding with your kid will maintain a happy relationship. Bring your child to your relatives, go to church, bring him to a park and play with him, or just stay at home and spend some time helping your child with his projects or assignments. At the end of each day, share stories with each other, compliment your child, ask your child about the things he has learnt in school, ask him what happened to his day, and eat with your kid as often as you can. Things like that will make a child feel that he is important and loved. Give your child a good education and Nurturance. Raise him in a positive environment and set a good example for him. As a parent, it is important that you know everything that happens to your child. Show your concern, love and understanding. Know your child’s friends. Let your kid play while he’s young. Let him commit mistakes and make him understand that it is normal and okay, because there is learning in every mistake. Encourage your child to learn and try new things. Be a friend to your kid. You want to be there for him when he has problems.
Listen to your child and give your advice. Always keep an open heart and open mind.
You can discipline your child without shouting or hurting. Always stay calm and do not ignore the problem. When there is a conflict, you should explain things very well so that he/she would understand it. To keep a healthy relationship, always use kind words in addressing the problem. Tell how you feel about the situation, acknowledge good behavior, and tell your request, praise or reward. Do not yell or spank your child. It will not do any help, in that way you’re not teaching your child to respect you. Severe punishment is not a solution. Give your child positive reinforcement. One example is giving or increasing a reward. If it doesn’t work to your child, try the negative reinforcement like decreasing the reward or not giving any. Treat your child the way you want to be treated, talk to him/her the way you want to be talked to. Respect your child. Praise and acknowledge his/her good behavior. This way, it would also boost your child self worth or self esteem.
Always use words like please, thank you, your welcome, I’m sorry, I love you. These important words must be taught. Be a supportive parent. Try to give your kid all the love and support you can give. If ever the other parent is around, don’t hide your child. Your child needs a father and mother figure while growing up, even if your ex-partner is no longer available to fill his/her role, but let your ex-partner be a part of your child’s life if he/she is willing to. Having someone that guides and protect you is an essential part of being a kid.
In Motivating your child and establishing learning, always remember that one way to make your child’s study time more efficient and to achieve maximum productivity is to set a specific goal and to keep track of your child’s progress. Right after your child reaches a specific objective, give him or her reward. This way, you will improve and maintain your child’s enthusiasm.
Motivation is needed for reinforcement; it is an important condition for learning. A single response must be reinforced to help increase its strength, like a reward, which allows the response to be valued and repeated.
Do not show too much expectation from your child, if your child fails, always assure him/her that it is okay, tell him/her that you are not disappointed and that he/she could always try his/her best next time. If you show too much expectation from your child and he/she fails to do what is expected, it is more likely for him/her to be depressed. And if this continues, this will result to him/her having a very low self-esteem.
Most children, loses their enthusiasm when they keep on failing. Make your child feel and know that failures are just a part of growing up that it is part of the process and you still love him/her regardless of the failures. Let your child know that failure is a normal thing and through each failure there is new learning.
Engage your child into things that they really like the most. Encourage and fully support them with their dreams and goals. Let them explore and try new things. For example, if they are into arts or music, enroll them to a music class or art class. Let them follow their dreams, not your dreams. It is not right to push them into something that they don’t really like, because in the end, they are the ones who will live their life and if they are not happy with what they’re doing and if they are doing that just to please their parents, most likely, they will not succeed. And they will have a hard time searching for themselves. So while they’re young, give them your support because that is what your child really needs. A parent should guide their children and not command them, let them decide and give them advice. Smothering your child will not do any help, a good communication between you and your kid is very important.
You need to take time to listen to them, and ask them what they want. Give them love and understand them, surely they will be successful individuals when they grow up and surely they will be thankful to you for helping them achieve what they wanted to be.
Another way to motivate your child is to praise your child to every little good thing he/she does. Always acknowledge what he/she did, most especially at his/her performance at school or even at home. Acknowledge simple things like when your child helps you at household chores. Tell him/her that he/she is doing a good job and say kind words like “thank you” and “I love you”. This will not only help your child have a self esteem but it will also teach him/her good manners and values. She will then learn to say thank you, your welcome, please, and so on. Establishing a good relationship with your child while he/she is young is very important. Childhood plays a major role in adulthood stage, so the parents must be very careful because a child is very fragile and delicate.
The children are naturally artists when they are at young age, they tend to create worlds of their own with their toys and sometimes accompanied by a friend you cannot see. They are imaginative in nature. Kids often play with their thoughts and give the impression of its existence in the real world.
Imaginary friend- you may probably witness your 2-4 yr old child talking to someone you don’t see. This usually happens when he is playing and when he is alone, and sometimes it seems like this unseen person is responding to him when you listen closely to what your child is saying. Leave the possibility that your youngster is seeing a ghost because this simply means that your child has made an imaginary friend.
It means that your child is starting to be aware about his social needs. A child feels excited about the things that he was not able to do before, like how he tries to run when he just started to learn how to walk. But when all of the necessary motor-skills are already developed, then your child will spend most of his time enhancing his observing skill. Aside of being so curious about the things around him, a youngster will often observe how the people around him communicate with each other, how this thing changes their mood rapidly, and later on he will notice how this is important and most of all, fun. His need for communication and interaction will significantly increase as he learns to understand the words that he hears, and at this point then your child will demand for an accompany, he will insist that you play with him more often than before, he will start on giving instructions like what toy you should hold on to or what game should both of you play. But since you cant play and chat with your kid every time, he then tries to practice communicating or rather have the fun of communicating even if he is just on his own.
- Leave him be, let him have his imaginary friend. This is just a phase that will end without you noticing it. His invented companion will leave when he is no longer needed.
- Socialize your child with other kids. Lend him a real playmate, guide your kid as he starts to have real accompanies near to his age that will play and converse with him, and show him that you are happy that he now has friends to play with.
- Observe how your kid talks to his imaginary friend. This could be a chance for you to see if your child has adopted bad languages or rude and argumentative approach of speaking. If so, then correct it and show your kid how to properly talk to other people. Children only learn the manner of conversing with others through the people that they usually can observe, so you must be careful about the words you say in front of your kid, and the manner of how you deliver your words to the person you talk to, especially during this stage of his development.
There is nothing as important as the academic success of your child in today’s world full of competitions. A child who is successful at school, is more likely to be successful in his life. Good grades can help your child get to a nice college and from there you’ll be ensured that your child will make enough money to live a cozy life. But academic success is not easy to achieve, efforts must be used. So here’s a short summary on how you can encourage your child to achieve academic success;
Be interested. Try to find out what is happening at school. Ask them questions on everything they have done at school. Is there anything they liked? What is the current book they have read? What do they learn in math? Etc
Tell them your expectations. Talk to them on what you expect from them, are they supposed to do their home works before they go to play? Are you expecting certain grades on their report cards? Is he supposed to prioritize studies before other extracurricular activities? Are they supposed to attend all of their classes? You need to recognize that as a parent, what you expect from them should clear and realistic.
Praise them. It’s clear that not all children will get the same straight A’s. What matters a lot is their efforts and not their grade, so always praise them for putting much effort. Make sure there is good attendance at school, if they don’t attend school they will not learn what has been taught that day hence they’ll suffer. Don’t take them out of school to attend some events that are not related to school.
Good health habits are vital. It is shown by research that students who have a good enough sleep and have a well breakfast tend to do better in school than those who are hungry and had less sleep. Ensure a healthy breakfast each morning though many kids are sometimes late and don’t want to take breakfast so you can have quickly breakfast stuffs like breakfast bars and cupcakes.
Talk with your child’s classroom teacher. Teachers are always happy to discuss about children’s progress with parents because they want success for their students.
Supervise his homework. Many students are poor in class because they fail to submit their homework plus if your child will not do the assignments, they will not be in a position to know the information during the time of test. Arrange a certain time every day for your child to do his homework. If you think the television distracts them, you can establish an area where there is less distractions.
Guide them on time management. A lot of students can’t manage well their time. Teach them to learn to work on big assignments and then do the small ones every day. In this case, they won’t have to rush in submitting homework the night before. All of these will yield to successful children.
In this world of despair and negativity, positive attitude is very important for your child. Being positive means you always focus on things that are good and do not think of negative stuffs. When you develop a positive attitude, you can cope with your life easily and eliminate bad thinking. But for a child, a positive attitude is not born within him, he needs to be developed with it. By helping them to have a positive attitude will make them face their lives and tackle all the problems that comes along with growing up.
You should first teach them never to us the word “I can’t.” The statement makes them feel incompetent, it usually makes them feel bad about themselves. Help them know that they cannot be able to each and everything on their own and that sometimes they need assistance. Tell them that some tasks need someone to assist and other things need to take time, they cannot be done all at once. In some other things, they can say “I won’t” not because they are incompetent but because they have decided not to do it.
Assist them in knowing and learning to control the inner voice inside them. There are things we say in our minds that nobody else knows. Children need to know how to control the inner feelings of negativity into positive feelings. This one maybe hard for a parent to control it since it is within the child’s mind but starting with the outer him by making him do things he thought he could not do. A parent should be an encouragement into a positive thinking like “Yes, you are trying. You can do very well in math” even if they have low grades just praise them and they will do better next time.
Being positive is a decision that one makes. When a child decides to be unhappy or sad is their choice, that they have chosen to react in that way. Take them out of that situation by cheering them and recommends things like “You really look ugly when you frown with anger!” such comments can make them stop being sad since they don’t want to look ugly.
Give them reasons to laugh and smile. You can watch funny movies with them and tell each other jokes. Laughing and smiling really changes your bad mood and makes you feel alive and happy. On top of that, a happy home is full of laughter. You may be bored and had a tiresome day but just seeing your kids, it just brightens your mood.
Teach them to learn something new every day like difficult words they did not understand in school or in a book or something they have seen on television. Love and affection is also the key to a child with a positive mind, he will always be happy because he knows he has parents who loves and care about him. Being positive makes them successful and independent.
When you were growing up you shared many traditions with your parents and siblings. Some of these traditions were handed down from your mom and dad’s families and others were created as new traditions. Now that you have your own family you are creating traditions of your own. Children’s birthdays are a perfect event around which traditions can be built. Master Oh shares some of those with you now:
A Special Cake
Many moms pride themselves on baking and decorating a special cake for their kids each year. If you love baking this is a tradition you can start with your children. A wonderful idea is to work with siblings to create birthday cakes for the child celebrating their birthday. You can work together to bake the cake and then decorate it. This will be something children will love doing and the birthday boy or girl will look forward to seeing what their cake will look like year after year. If you don’t bake you can still create traditions around providing a beautifully decorated cake using your child’s favourite characters, colours and flavours and watch as their tastes and preferences change year after year. You can also have a traditional family recipe the family can look forward to sharing for all birthdays.
Build traditions around the seasons of each person’s birthday. Winter birthdays can involve building a snow man, a family snow ball fight, a brisk walk and a cup of warm cocoa or building a bonfire following cake (if allowed in your neighbourhood). Summer can be a trip to the beach, a family adventure at the zoo or a game of soccer at the local park. Horseback riding, skating and other activities you enjoy together can all become a special activity you enjoy as part of the birthday plans.
Birthdays are the perfect excuse for family gatherings. If birthdays are a big deal for your family, preparing a family gathering around birthdays is the perfect excuse to get together and spend some quality time together with aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters and of course grandparents. Children are always a focus of extended family and involving them on your child’s special day will be meaningful and help enforce the importance of family with your kids.
Children’s Birthday Party Blitz
Some parents love throwing all out parties for their children. You can make a tradition of throwing a super party complete with all the fanfare. Party clowns, decorations, cake and gifts and lots of kids running around can be a perfect family tradition kids will look forward to year after year as will friends and family.
Most birthdays come complete with presents but choosing a significant gift that can be given each year can be a meaningful gesture. One of the best traditional gifts is books. Passing on a classic book suited to the child’s age each year will also give them the gift of the love for reading. The books can become family heirlooms that are passed on from generation to generation for all the birthdays to come.