The idea of talking about sex with your parents is enough to make you cringe with discomfort. Nothing comes even remotely close to being as awkward as having to raise the subject of sex with your mother or father (or both). The fact that you want to discuss sex openly, however, is a good sign of your growing maturity. It can be a turning point in your relationship with your parents and signals to them that you are moving into adulthood.
Most parents dread having to discuss sex with their children as well. You may feel that this is going to be an uncomfortable conversation and you may be having difficulties deciding how and when to raise the subject. Your parents are probably going through the same mental anguish. Parents have an uncanny knack of picking up on signals and if you are wanting to talk about sex, chances are they know it and are trying to find the right time and place as well.
Even though you love both your parents, you may have a connection with either your mother or father that you think it would be easier to talk about sex with. Even this can be a difficult decision to make. In some ways, it maybe be easier to choose the parent that you have a little distance from in conversations as this may help frame the sex conversation so that after it is over, you can resume your normal relationship. Sometimes, with a close parent, the sex conversation can change the dynamics of your relationship and create a little more distance as your parent tries to give you the space you need to grow.
At times it is easier to simply choose the parent of the same gender – your mother if you are a girl, or your father if you are a boy. This allows you to also talk about any biological changes or experiences you are having as well.
Finding out details of sex from friends is the number one source of sex information for young people. The problem with this is that it is easy for misinformation to get shared amongst your social group. Also, not everyone’s sexual experiences are the same and if the information is based on the experiences of one of your friends, this may not be pertinent to you. While there is a freedom in talking about sex with your friends, the information only takes you so far.
Finding the right time to talk about sex with your parents is crucial. Try to make time for a real conversation – where you will not be interrupted too much – and start with more general topics to build a rapport and easy flow to your conversation. This will calm your nerves and make your parent feel at ease as well. Trust your instincts and when there is a bond in your conversation, start to steer the conversation onto sex.
Sex chats with mum and dad are excruciatingly painful at times but are an essential part of growing up. The sex conversation with your parents is a true milestone in your maturity.